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LIE #1: A Christian man must be God’s best choice of a mate for me. First of all, just because a man calls himself a Christian doesn’t mean a thing about his spiritual condition. Hitler probably professed to be a nice guy. What really shows a man’s faith is action—not trying to get you into bed until you are both wearing a ring; initiating his own personal relationship with God and encouraging yours as well; and especially holding his feelings back in the relationship to allow God to lead. God’s choice of a mate for you is going to be a godly man, and if you listen, God will tell you through an active prayer life and the counsel of other godly influences whether this is the one He has picked out for you.

LIE #2: If it feels right, it is right. Feelings are unreliable. Don’t trust them, especially when it comes to spiritual matters. Feelings change day by day, and they can lie to you. Women who rely on them to make important decisions are going to be extremely disappointed, making one mistake after another. The decision must be made objectively and prayerfully. Sexual sin in the relationship will cloud objectivity and good judgment.

LIE #3: I can overlook a few character problems (a.k.a. red flags)—no one is perfect. If a man has glaring character defects, it is likely that he is not teachable. Teachability is the number one character trait you should look for in a potential mate. I am not talking about normal struggles or mistakes, but habit pattern sins or dysfunctions that control their lives and that they are not open and contrite about. If a man is teachable, he will humbly listen to God and to his future wife when making decisions. He will be willing to work at his future marriage.

LIE #4: I really know him after spending so much time talking to him. Phone and heart-to-heart conversations are no substitute for real life situations. He can tell you anything you want to hear while hiding behind a phone. But get him with his family, or behind a rude driver, or at a restaurant getting poor service, and then you begin to see what kind of a person he really is. A wise woman will wait it out awhile to observe his responses in every possible difficult and awkward situation.

LIE #5: He always tells me the truth. If you think that then you don’t know most men in this world. Most men are very good at telling women what they want to hear in order to get what they want—sex. Pressure for sex from a “Christian man” should be the number one indicator of a dishonest man with underlying bad intentions and hidden motives.

LIE #6: Coincidences are a sign from God. Satan, the master liar and counterfeiter, is cooking up coincidences to get you off track, so beware! He doesn’t want you to wait for God’s best. He wants to handicap your services for the Kingdom by getting you to settle for a miserable and empty marriage. Ask for godly counsel from objective bystanders, pray hard, and stay intent upon God’s will and not your own.

LIE #7: It’s normal for him to pressure me for sex. That’s just how men are. True godly men live to please God and not their own selfish desires. They honor women as the treasure they are, treating them with absolute purity as Jesus would have done. They care more about the purity of their Christian sisters than a quick thrill for the moment. Sex before marriage is a sin and if a guy is pressuring, he doesn’t care about what God thinks and he doesn’t care about you either.

LIE #8: There are many quality romantic perfect men out there, just like in the movies. Women have so filled their minds (and hearts) with Hollywood ideals about men, two tragedies have resulted. First, no man could ever live up to that fictitious standard so they are unfairly compared and criticized. Secondly, a woman in the beginning stages of a relationship can tend to fill in missing information about a man with imagined ideals before she even knows him. She ends up “falling in love” with an idea, not a person. When the man begins to show signs of human weakness, she is disappointed but holds onto the relationship hoping the man she first imagined will return. The few real quality men out there are the ones who are living to please God. You will need God’s help to find them.

LIE #9: When I find a man and get married, I will finally feel happy and complete. If that’s true, why are so many women getting divorced (or wishing they were)? Why do Hollywood stars ditch beauties for someone else? The truth is, you will only feel happy and complete when you let God be your first love. No man—especially one who is not God’s best for you—will even come close. When the excitement wears off (and it will), you will feel more alone than when you were single.

Sourced from JulieFerwerda and I must add this- VERY IMPORTANT…

LIE #10: He doesn’t have a job but God will provide because He blessed little beginnings. This is one of the biggest lie ladies tell themselves. It’s either they are frustrated being single and here is a man wanting to marry them but he is not financially ok or it’s this spiritual emotional story that God honors little beginnings.
Now listen girls, the two most biggest problems in marriages are infidelity and finances. When a man can’t buy you airtime or pay for your hair to be made or even pay for your transport or pay for your meal during courtship then HE IS A NO NO! Let him go and get a job first and get himself stable before thinking about marriage. What you singles don’t understand is that marriage is not just about the two of you, what of the children that will come afterwards?

A word is enough for the wise! Thank God it’s Friday! Have a fabulous weekend!

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  • Tobzz


    May the lord continue to bless you for reaching out to us women, and may your oil never run dry. Thank you ma.

    February 27, 2015
  • Jacqueline


    Wonderful write up God Bless You ma.

    February 27, 2015
  • bebe


    I really love what you do n to crown it all,u r sold out to God! Blessed! Beautiful!! Brilliant!!! Wish u were in ph?

    February 27, 2015
  • Salamatu


    I really love your hand work. May the almighty Allah continue to bless you and your work. Looking forward to meet you one day. I wish to get some of your collections for my wedding. Thank you. Sala from Ghana.

    April 19, 2015
  • iko


    what if one already made the mistake of getting married to the wrong person? what solution should she seek? I am actually completely guilty of lie #3 & #4, other ones are applicable too, but these two i was very much aware of at dt time but didn’t know they were lies that stemed from my insecurities.. l have taken a lot of time to think back, all the way to when i was young, and i realised i had my own personal issues dt led to my believing a husband would be my salvation, my sister, i’ve never experienced such harsh reality…
    Anyway, i have reached out and found some nice books that have helped (eg, Joyce Meyer’s “Making Marriage work”), Am a lot more happier, though the burden is still there and I still struggle, it is no longer walking before me and it diminishes by day. Thanks for being one of my resources, and keep up the blessed work for the lord is with you.
    Am a designer, and i must say your fabrics are enchanting, see ya!!!

    May 7, 2015
  • Tejiri


    God bless you.
    Your oil will never run dry.
    As I keep praying for my pastor… Pastor Taiwo Odukoya for being a blessing to me, you won’t be left out because you are an added blessing to me.

    July 20, 2015

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